Re-wiring

I can't believe it's been so long since I've written. I've been putting it off and putting it off, so finally today I just decided to write. I find that I'm comparing myself to others quite often and was even doing that with my blog. I was thinking that I should have all of these topics, research them, have something really good to say about it and pose a question. I feel like mine should be like someone else's. Not my own. I guess what happens is that I feel like I should be like somebody else, something more...but I realized today there's no one out there like me - I'm me! So instead of contemplating what I should be writing about, how I should write it, how I should present it, I decided to just - WRITE!

This past week I've actually been doing a lot of thinking. I think probably since we went to visit my parents, I really got stuck in a rut. I was on a losing trend and gained a bit when we went to Vancouver. Tried to get it back when we got back, but then before I knew it, it was Christmas. The two weeks of Christmas holidays....I gained 9lbs! Nine freaking pounds! I had no inhibitions whatsoever. I stopped tracking my WW points, I ate everything I saw...Nanaimo bars being my worst enemy. Oh Nanaimo Bars why do you have to be SO delicious?! So then came the next couple weeks after Christmas. MAJOR struggle. I was trying to do everything and do it all at once. I was trying to figure out how to balance my weight loss efforts while nursing little miss. I was thinking that I always needed to see big numbers, otherwise it meant I wasn't succeeding. I was thinking about how I was so close to my pre-pregnancy weight (4lbs), then gained so much (I have a history of getting so close and then sabotaging myself). I was stressed out! What helped me overcome that struggle was a phone call with my mom. She was telling me of her struggles and what she had been experiencing. So I thought about what she was going through and how it related to my struggle!

The light bulb! Aha!

I don't have to do everything RIGHT NOW! With my weight loss...if I were to lose 1lb per week...in a year that's 52lbs! FIFTY TWO POUNDS! How much closer I would be to my goal doing that, then with the mentality I've had where it all has to come off now. Going gung ho at the beginning...petering out, losing momentum and not even close to my goal - most likely further away. The old tortoise and hare trick.
So! I'm not stressing out about it. I'm just making sure that I eat healthily, get in some exercise during the week - NOT going crazy about it.

This is going to take time. When I think about where I could be in a year's time, it makes me excited of where that is.

I will strive for greatness! Not for the greatness of someone else, but for the greatness in me.