Monday, March 09, 2009

I'm the solution.

The other day I was talking to my new fabulous friend and I was talking about how I had been struggling. Struggling with lack of energy, zero motivation and not being able to figure out why. Then I was telling her about a profile that I had read that morning on Sparkpeople and how it had really spoke to me.

A lot of people ask me how I acheived my weight loss. They think there is some kind of all powerful secret that I can share with them that will make all of the puzzle pieces fall into place and melt the fat from their bones. Thing is, there is no secret. You just have to watch what you eat, exercise, drink water and most importantly, believe you can do it.

Or at least be able to fake that belief until you really believe it. Faking it is a-ok in my book...that's how I had to do it for the first 50lbs!

The most important thing I have realized through this process is that wanting to be thin isn't good enough. Wanting to wear cute clothing isn't good enough. Wanting to be accepted by others isn't good enough. Essentially, wanting the end result isn't good enough. You have to want the whole package. The good, bad and ugly. The triumphs AND the failures. The losses AND the gains. You have to be ready to take the steps to get healthy and make a commitment to yourself to follow through. Until you are ready to make that decision, all of the diets, websites and urging from others won't help you.

But when you're ready, anything is possible.


I realized, that was me. As much as I hadn't really thought so, it was. I have countless books on diets and fitness and I'm always looking for more. Do those pills in the aisle on the backside of the protein bar/vitamin aisle at Wal-Mart really work? I'm always looking for that right plan for me, for that website built just for me. I'm looking for that magical's me......I'm the solution..........holy crap.....I think I just had, as Oprah calls A-HA moment...and the tears flowed.....

I was always looking for someone to blame. To blame for my lack of motivation, for my poor eating, for not exercising. Usually at the end of that blame, was my husband. Sure, he should shoulder some of it, but I have to take 100% of that blame. Every decision was my own. But what I hadn't completely realized, was that I was also the solution - to it all.

I really am grateful for having such wonderful friends, new and old, whose support on this journey has been, is and will be surmountable to my success - K, R & T.

My family has always been there for me, loved me for me and cheered me on in this life long journey and I love every ounce of their beings!

I am determined to persevere. I'm ready.

This is, Terra Fit.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Tara,
    I came by here a while back...when Ruth had mentioned that you and her had reconnected. Back then, you didn't have any posts up. Well I rediscovered your blog now...I love how you're looking at this whole journey. I especially love where you say..."I'm looking for that magical's me......I'm the solution..........holy crap.....I think I just had, as Oprah calls A-HA moment...and the tears flowed." You are so right. We can't do this because someone else is doing it...we can't do it because someone else wants us to lose the weight...we CANNOT be bandwagon jumpers! We have to do it for ourselves!

    I look forward to reading your journey. I too am on the same one...I lost 36lbs about two years ago and have gained every single one of them I am trying to get to where I need to be mentally to start up again. I will get there...someday.